The barometer of individual success is not survival but growth. That is why the definition of success remains a point of view.
Have you ever faced the predicament of having to tell someone how successful you are?
I once tried telling my parents and could not explain. Even though my explanation went something like what Bertrand Russell once said: “Everyone knows that a businessman who has been ruined is better off, so far as material comforts are concerned, than a man who has never been rich enough to have the chance of being ruined.”
I guess its difficult to explain success when no one, including you, has the faintest idea on when you had a balance in your account or why you are not married to the son of Mr. Cartier or even to James Bond.
The problem of a lack of synchronization, in perception with others, continues all our lives. When each of our two eyes sees a different perspective, who are we to point a finger at others. Maybe that is the reason why we can never manage to get ahead of our head.
We have a simple classification of people – the haves and the have-nots, but when it comes to ourselves we usually give ourselves a more unique status — of hovering on the peripheries of the almost haves, while secretly fearing the fall into the dismal abyss of the have-nots.
Life is supposed to be the struggle of reaching our goals.
When we complain about the severe competitiveness of the struggle of life, what we mean is not the obstructions but the nature of the goals itself. There is nothing wrong with pursuing goals like material comforts, wealth, fame etc. But what is sometimes unrealistic is what we expect these goals to do to us, like changing our life, earning the respect or envy of others or bringing us perpetual happiness.
Rarely do we examine our reasons for pursuing such goals.
It is amazing how many of our goals have their origins in a desire for social approval. As kids, we are primed for it till it becomes an integral part of us .The do’s and don’ts of childhood gather strength till they become a full fledged moral code, going against which results in a range of reactions from mild discomfort to guilt and catastrophe.
I agree that, as adults, the operational factors should be different. In the mainstream of life, we need to build our own rudder to navigate reality, without the influence of some old infantile perceptions. This is easier said than done.
Our concept of success has always been problematic.
There is one documented on Gautama Buddha. This was 3000 years ago. He had problems that we all have had as teenagers. No, he didn’t want to be like dad. No he didn’t want to be king, he wanted to be an intellectual, pursuing more noble goals. No, he didn’t want Dads’ help. Even when he went visiting his Dad, he insisted on asserting his own individuality and, to his Dad’s embarrassment.He wore the coarsest of rags and went around begging door to door for his daily food in the tradition of the ascetics. Taken from the opinion of history, yes, we recognize him as an extremely successful man. But, I wonder what the prevailing opinion was about him. Especially that of his father, or his father’s cronies. I suspect that it must have been something like – ‘Oh these youngsters today, whatever next !’
The pet opinions about the younger generation have always sounded familiar.Only the stage settings keep changing.
The popular one is about their extreme commercialism, materialism and the nonchalance with which they spend money.
One of the ways it manifests is in the typical reaction to television watching. Parents talk about TV being bad for the eyes , the brain and the morals of a child. Being a parent I must admit that most of our reactions are a resistance to the unfamiliar. I didn’t have a television at home till I was eleven years old. The government run Doordarshan was the only channel, and we got an average of two watchable programmes a week in black and white. I had to wait till every Friday to see the change of movies in the theaters to get some entertainment.
It is usually the grown- ups that need to grow up. Henry Ford had been so successful in making cars that he had a formula for success – ‘Any color you want as long as it’s black’ It was inevitable that he lost out to an upstart who thought differently!
We wonder about the prevailing lifestyles and attitudes of our kids and worry if it will translate into future success, even if we have no idea on what will constitute success in the future. They do usually turn out all right, just as we did.
There is an ancient Japanese saying that goes – Blossoms turn to fruit and brides become mothers-in-law. So I guess we just have to leave it at that.
Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author
Have you ever faced the predicament of having to tell someone how successful you are?
I once tried telling my parents and could not explain. Even though my explanation went something like what Bertrand Russell once said: “Everyone knows that a businessman who has been ruined is better off, so far as material comforts are concerned, than a man who has never been rich enough to have the chance of being ruined.”
I guess its difficult to explain success when no one, including you, has the faintest idea on when you had a balance in your account or why you are not married to the son of Mr. Cartier or even to James Bond.
The problem of a lack of synchronization, in perception with others, continues all our lives. When each of our two eyes sees a different perspective, who are we to point a finger at others. Maybe that is the reason why we can never manage to get ahead of our head.
We have a simple classification of people – the haves and the have-nots, but when it comes to ourselves we usually give ourselves a more unique status — of hovering on the peripheries of the almost haves, while secretly fearing the fall into the dismal abyss of the have-nots.
Life is supposed to be the struggle of reaching our goals.
When we complain about the severe competitiveness of the struggle of life, what we mean is not the obstructions but the nature of the goals itself. There is nothing wrong with pursuing goals like material comforts, wealth, fame etc. But what is sometimes unrealistic is what we expect these goals to do to us, like changing our life, earning the respect or envy of others or bringing us perpetual happiness.
Rarely do we examine our reasons for pursuing such goals.
It is amazing how many of our goals have their origins in a desire for social approval. As kids, we are primed for it till it becomes an integral part of us .The do’s and don’ts of childhood gather strength till they become a full fledged moral code, going against which results in a range of reactions from mild discomfort to guilt and catastrophe.
I agree that, as adults, the operational factors should be different. In the mainstream of life, we need to build our own rudder to navigate reality, without the influence of some old infantile perceptions. This is easier said than done.
Our concept of success has always been problematic.
There is one documented on Gautama Buddha. This was 3000 years ago. He had problems that we all have had as teenagers. No, he didn’t want to be like dad. No he didn’t want to be king, he wanted to be an intellectual, pursuing more noble goals. No, he didn’t want Dads’ help. Even when he went visiting his Dad, he insisted on asserting his own individuality and, to his Dad’s embarrassment.He wore the coarsest of rags and went around begging door to door for his daily food in the tradition of the ascetics. Taken from the opinion of history, yes, we recognize him as an extremely successful man. But, I wonder what the prevailing opinion was about him. Especially that of his father, or his father’s cronies. I suspect that it must have been something like – ‘Oh these youngsters today, whatever next !’
The pet opinions about the younger generation have always sounded familiar.Only the stage settings keep changing.
The popular one is about their extreme commercialism, materialism and the nonchalance with which they spend money.
One of the ways it manifests is in the typical reaction to television watching. Parents talk about TV being bad for the eyes , the brain and the morals of a child. Being a parent I must admit that most of our reactions are a resistance to the unfamiliar. I didn’t have a television at home till I was eleven years old. The government run Doordarshan was the only channel, and we got an average of two watchable programmes a week in black and white. I had to wait till every Friday to see the change of movies in the theaters to get some entertainment.
It is usually the grown- ups that need to grow up. Henry Ford had been so successful in making cars that he had a formula for success – ‘Any color you want as long as it’s black’ It was inevitable that he lost out to an upstart who thought differently!
We wonder about the prevailing lifestyles and attitudes of our kids and worry if it will translate into future success, even if we have no idea on what will constitute success in the future. They do usually turn out all right, just as we did.
There is an ancient Japanese saying that goes – Blossoms turn to fruit and brides become mothers-in-law. So I guess we just have to leave it at that.
Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author
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