Question: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
Answer: No time at all it is already built.
They failed me in mathematics in school for that answer. Because the right answer is supposed to be a number, not a sentence.
Precision – to the point, number or to the button is of crucial importance.
The list of what all I do not know, never affects me much. But what I need to work on is my button intelligence.
I am a moron; my button IQ is pathetically below average … it has been proved time and again.
I am told that I am not an impossible case. The formula for being correct is so simple today – Every thing can be correct; you just have to press a button. (The small print says the right button, to be right, the wrong button to be left – (out).
I have problems deciding which is the right – button to be pressed.
With time, the buttons have gotten smaller, and my fingers bigger. They never could punch a single key. Then the print on the buttons got smaller and smaller and smaller…
Every one feels sorry for me.
It means that my million best friends whom I do not know, cannot get my profound one liner. Or my e – lover cannot take me to a 5 star e- dinner in Paris, without my husband knowing. Or my husband cannot give me an e- platinum mangulsutra on my wedding anniversary with a card that says “with this we again wed, but now – properly”.
My life’s ambition is to be like everyone else. Be it the Joneses, or the Sharmas or the Vermas or the next door neighbor whom I do not know. I would do any thing to be, button savvy!
I should be fearless, I am told.
People, who do not know how to read or write, can also press buttons. Buttons don’t bite.
Only thing to worry about is that the passwords you use everywhere be regularly changed to avoid the hackers. The sharp ones who know how to, can, get in and those others too, who do not know, but have accidentally hit your password by error because they were lost and experimenting.
According to statistics, your hitting the lottery button is zero. The fruits, according to karmic law fall only on those who do not want to eat it – Like Edison who wrote a library of scientific literature on an apple falling on his head. Ever heard of a starving beggar on the road having an apple falling on his head?
Scientists world wide are doing research on button pressing issues and its effects on humanity. They are worried about some idiot who would accidentally press the enter button on a nuclear bomb thinking that pressing enter would shut it down like it does for a computer.
No one who is a button moron would ever qualify with either the espionage agencies or the terrorists. Both only hire those who are either, button or trigger savvy!
(Ironic, but, people who hesitate, even when there is only one button that says shoot, qualify with either employer).
In spite of being button phobic, people like me are getting to be highly valuable to society. They do not add much to the e- economy but, I am pleased to be informed that even Darwin would have agreed with all other renowned scientists today, that the survival of the species would be directly linked to the button ignoramus.
This is what they say…
The future is here already. The unification of the universe is no longer in the spiritual but in the one universal screen – the TV, Computer, Telephone …. Are all now linked to the universe.
The debate on Darwin’s concept of the survival of the species has concluded, that people who are button savvy, may be the fittest, but they will not survive.
Simply because they will be less bored.
Novelty is stimulating. It is available on the internet. The button savvy will have a great time, having fun. They will even graduate, to having sex with holograms, and have harems to choose from.
But what will happen to the button ignoramus?
They will be left behind. To remote- controls that say; up- down, 1,2,3,4 etc., or on – off – All that simple stuff that even two year olds know how to handle.
Bollywood and Mollywood would cater to people like me, by continuing to churn out fixed formula entertainment, movies and mega serials with stories that are interrupted by songs at regular intervals and commercial breaks at irregular intervals. People as usual will get bored with reruns and then, like our ancestors, would engage in the time honored sport to relieve boredom – sex.
Beats virtual sex, if not for titillation, at least for babies!
(I think, Hollywood would go bankrupt because they would be competing with an English speaking audience using internet language. They never, ever could compete with either Mollywood or Bollywood. They could try the Chinese, who are currently upholding the number one score in population volume. But dubbed Chinese tastes like Indian Chinese cuisine. The Chinese would prefer to go hungry).
The mental regimentation program that humans have adopted as a means for survival is backfiring. Primarily because of our misconception that knowledge is a perquisite to wisdom. We have subjected ourselves not only regimentation of knowledge and experience, in our schools, but also in every other aspect of our lives.
Every thing we do is governed by the ease factor or the correct answer. Perhaps we have become the buttons, we so admire.
But my opinion is incorrect, so my therapist says. Because I am not button savvy, I suffer from button envy.
But the button savvy have their problems too. It is the ultimate lifestyle disease today. Affects everything; mind, body and fingers.
I recently dialed the personal telephone number of my bank officer who also happens to be my cousin. I know him quite well. He had just returned from a skill upgradation program for bank employees
“Hello” I said
He said “Please press star to continue in English.”
I thought that maybe it was a wrong number.
I carefully dialed again and asked “Is this telephone number 97609812389?”
The answer I got was, “yes, yes, no, no, yes, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Please press one if the number is correct or else dial another number…”
Such things happen too…
Answer: No time at all it is already built.
They failed me in mathematics in school for that answer. Because the right answer is supposed to be a number, not a sentence.
Precision – to the point, number or to the button is of crucial importance.
The list of what all I do not know, never affects me much. But what I need to work on is my button intelligence.
I am a moron; my button IQ is pathetically below average … it has been proved time and again.
I am told that I am not an impossible case. The formula for being correct is so simple today – Every thing can be correct; you just have to press a button. (The small print says the right button, to be right, the wrong button to be left – (out).
I have problems deciding which is the right – button to be pressed.
With time, the buttons have gotten smaller, and my fingers bigger. They never could punch a single key. Then the print on the buttons got smaller and smaller and smaller…
Every one feels sorry for me.
It means that my million best friends whom I do not know, cannot get my profound one liner. Or my e – lover cannot take me to a 5 star e- dinner in Paris, without my husband knowing. Or my husband cannot give me an e- platinum mangulsutra on my wedding anniversary with a card that says “with this we again wed, but now – properly”.
My life’s ambition is to be like everyone else. Be it the Joneses, or the Sharmas or the Vermas or the next door neighbor whom I do not know. I would do any thing to be, button savvy!
I should be fearless, I am told.
People, who do not know how to read or write, can also press buttons. Buttons don’t bite.
Only thing to worry about is that the passwords you use everywhere be regularly changed to avoid the hackers. The sharp ones who know how to, can, get in and those others too, who do not know, but have accidentally hit your password by error because they were lost and experimenting.
According to statistics, your hitting the lottery button is zero. The fruits, according to karmic law fall only on those who do not want to eat it – Like Edison who wrote a library of scientific literature on an apple falling on his head. Ever heard of a starving beggar on the road having an apple falling on his head?
Scientists world wide are doing research on button pressing issues and its effects on humanity. They are worried about some idiot who would accidentally press the enter button on a nuclear bomb thinking that pressing enter would shut it down like it does for a computer.
No one who is a button moron would ever qualify with either the espionage agencies or the terrorists. Both only hire those who are either, button or trigger savvy!
(Ironic, but, people who hesitate, even when there is only one button that says shoot, qualify with either employer).
In spite of being button phobic, people like me are getting to be highly valuable to society. They do not add much to the e- economy but, I am pleased to be informed that even Darwin would have agreed with all other renowned scientists today, that the survival of the species would be directly linked to the button ignoramus.
This is what they say…
The future is here already. The unification of the universe is no longer in the spiritual but in the one universal screen – the TV, Computer, Telephone …. Are all now linked to the universe.
The debate on Darwin’s concept of the survival of the species has concluded, that people who are button savvy, may be the fittest, but they will not survive.
Simply because they will be less bored.
Novelty is stimulating. It is available on the internet. The button savvy will have a great time, having fun. They will even graduate, to having sex with holograms, and have harems to choose from.
But what will happen to the button ignoramus?
They will be left behind. To remote- controls that say; up- down, 1,2,3,4 etc., or on – off – All that simple stuff that even two year olds know how to handle.
Bollywood and Mollywood would cater to people like me, by continuing to churn out fixed formula entertainment, movies and mega serials with stories that are interrupted by songs at regular intervals and commercial breaks at irregular intervals. People as usual will get bored with reruns and then, like our ancestors, would engage in the time honored sport to relieve boredom – sex.
Beats virtual sex, if not for titillation, at least for babies!
(I think, Hollywood would go bankrupt because they would be competing with an English speaking audience using internet language. They never, ever could compete with either Mollywood or Bollywood. They could try the Chinese, who are currently upholding the number one score in population volume. But dubbed Chinese tastes like Indian Chinese cuisine. The Chinese would prefer to go hungry).
The mental regimentation program that humans have adopted as a means for survival is backfiring. Primarily because of our misconception that knowledge is a perquisite to wisdom. We have subjected ourselves not only regimentation of knowledge and experience, in our schools, but also in every other aspect of our lives.
Every thing we do is governed by the ease factor or the correct answer. Perhaps we have become the buttons, we so admire.
But my opinion is incorrect, so my therapist says. Because I am not button savvy, I suffer from button envy.
But the button savvy have their problems too. It is the ultimate lifestyle disease today. Affects everything; mind, body and fingers.
I recently dialed the personal telephone number of my bank officer who also happens to be my cousin. I know him quite well. He had just returned from a skill upgradation program for bank employees
“Hello” I said
He said “Please press star to continue in English.”
I thought that maybe it was a wrong number.
I carefully dialed again and asked “Is this telephone number 97609812389?”
The answer I got was, “yes, yes, no, no, yes, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Please press one if the number is correct or else dial another number…”
Such things happen too…
Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are
expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet
magazine & the Author
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