The Tangled Mess of Hemlines & Helplines

While I was being encouraged to broaden my mind and abilities, I was also being told that hemlines for women were a major issue. The school nuns would hold a measuring tape and punish if the skirt ended three inches above the knee. The adults at home would just yell if my underwear showed. Keeping it hidden was a way of life; I have often wondered why the dress could not be changed to something more accommodating rather than me being more accommodating to the dress.

I happen to be a modern educated girl and belong to an era where women like me are supposed to no longer feel like an endangered species in a zoo.

All our growing years we were told that girls should exercise their choices.

But we were also told what our choices should be. For example - do not walk on that lonely road at night, you can get raped. Obey Daddy, he brings in the paycheck. Wear your earrings - it makes you look cute. Your bra- strap must never show. Don’t go out in the sun - you won’t stay fair. Stay a virgin till you marry. Or whatever…

Even as a kid I watched my father, the sole breadwinner, through his career in the government sector. Work life seemed so exciting then - going to office, getting official calls even in the middle of the night - that excitement of being needed on the job, the paycheck on the 1st of every month….Oh –Yes! I wanted to work the moment I grew up.

Sometime while growing up I also became aware of the other aspects of a job - the frustration, bad bosses, promotion anxieties, money tightness…worry, worry and more worry…

It was then that I admitted that my mother had the better deal.

I carry this dilemma even today. You see the women lined up for their chartered buses or racing off in their cars to work every day,  and you see the housewife waving off everyone and then making herself a nice cup of coffee — who would you think has a better deal?

That decided what I wanted. I defined my future scenario - A successful man is one makes more money than his wife can spend – a successful woman is one who can find such a man…

But what about that modern, educated, perhaps liberated woman that I was raised to

become? The independent one with a strong identity. The one who is not content with being an appendage or just a Mrs. So & So?

The role model is mother. There are only two kinds – One that says be like me and the other that says don’t be like me. Either kind has no answer to defining an identity - either way you are plagued with the dilemma of choice.

The cues that are generic to females and not to males are there from birth. Our idea about what is feminine and what is correct for girls comes from such cues.

Research by Psychologist Lois Hoffman explains that the root problem comes from how girls are handled. He says - “From birth there is more parental protectiveness, less encouragement for independence, less social pressure for establishing an identity separate from mother, less mother child conflict, all of which results in less independent exploration of her environment. As a result, she does not develop skills in coping with her environment or confidence in her ability to do so. She continues to be dependent upon adults for solving her problems.”

Exercising choices is rather unfamiliar terrain.

This is what results in the Bo Peep syndrome. She is the shepherdess in our nursery rhyme who banks on external factors for solutions rather than her own expertise. She believes, she wishes and she hopes that her lost sheep, if you just leave them alone, they will definitely come home... Somehow all problems will sort themselves, if left alone. Assertiveness is alien to her. She is used to being helped and protected by others.

The Bo peep syndrome is widely prevalent. There is a switched off stance when it comes to roles that are not related to her helplessness which is also considered feminine. She may be successful in a career, but she still seeks her applause from what her world defines as her female roles and appropriate female responses.

I have been a working professional right through the years. But the dream of being a bored housewife still grips me with envious fascination. When my baby was born I continued to do the breadwinning. I could write an admirable thesis on the complications of integrating breadwinning with breastfeeding, but not one word on why I still worried about what was the correct thing to do.

That was all in the past.

Today, my role model is Kathyrn Janeway (of the TV serial Star Trek Voyager). She is luckily not even on this planet.

But she fails to impress either my mother or my mother - in - law.

She made her choice.

Then is it fair to blame the female captain Kathyrn Janeway, of the inter-galactic spaceship Enterprise, for not knowing the recipe for vindaloo or even bissi bele hulle anna? And why would her Mother- in- Law be more impressed by her capability to shoot nuclear missiles to annihilate fully populated planets, instead?

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal

Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

Jobhunting Methodologies are a Dubious Cocktail

There are various perceptions about finding jobs.

Those who believe that finding the right job is about formula find that the neighbour who has the greener grass in his backyard is not likely to share the formula with them.

Those who believe that miracles rule successful job hunting also find that the guy next door is better blessed.

Those who see the hand of karma are least stressed. The wait and watch style in job hunting is relaxing as long as it does not become too long.

For most of us job-hunting is a dubious cocktail.

Perhaps what is shared by most job-seekers is the fact that jobs have to be caught and got.

Most of us are armed with lists of where to go and whom to ask which get taken out and dusted free of the cobwebs of the mind, on a need basis. Added to which are a few new things which others are using.

After all, what is the fuss when all one wants is the next best job?

Easier said than done, but jobs, like marriage, is about finding the right match. Unfortunately, finding the right match is not all there is to marriage.

Going beyond methodology implies that one discards tried and tested methodologies, or logical courses, in favor of creating something new. We favor following the herd, then trying to beat it by being the first at getting to greener pastures. Since everyone else has the same idea, we get hurt in the stampede.

Competing for jobs definitely means using a strategy that no one else has.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author 

A Molecule of Mediocrity

As Indians we are used to crowds. We tend to become faceless to others as they become faceless to us.

This results in an ambiguity resulting in mediocrity. And – Thodi si mediocrity is more than thodi si compromise for most of us.We lose that essence of pride in what we do.

People in India are used to being part of a crowd- a person without a face.Swallowing the feeling of pride and self respect comes easily. We blame the system.In spite of all the air- conditioning and carpets, we still have to stand in a queue in many places. When our bank employees go on strike and we have no access to our own money we brush it under the carpet,the bureaucrat who says come tomorrow I am busy, we brush it under the carpet, when the school rejects our kids for failing a test, we brush it under the carpet.

We have a huge pile of crap under the carpet.Every time the termite takes a tiny bite, something comes out.But we remain stoic.

All this can work well in certain circumstances like suffering a bad neighborhood or a bad mother- in -law, but when this attititude seeps into business practices we create a handicap.

We become incapable of Empathy.

Empathy has become a dirty word in our circles. The victim-victor cycle completes...And you become what you despise.Like the lady in the government office my father once worked in- "She finishes her lunch -sandwich in full view of the queue in front of her and then spends 55 minutes knitting in full view of the waiting queue till her one hour lunch- break finishes.

Ask her how does she does it and pat comes the answer. " The queue is eternal.So what do you expect?Do I take my lunch break in the toilet? Or the lawn outside? In the middle of this summer heat wave?

She is actually a very nice lady outside her office.So maybe you can explain why she is what she is in her office.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal

Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

Hello Bolo !

This comes under top secret, classified Government secrets – but I can safely tell you that we have no need to really worry about the nuclear bomb. The new weapon of mass destruction is worse – the vernacular.

The fall out is also more deadly.

We had disease, floods and droughts that once killed off our population in vast numbers. Now all we have to do is get p’proper government approved schooling. The advantage here is that you can opt for your vernacular. But the fallout is that it gets your jugular.

Ambiguous?

Try sitting for an interview where the interviewer knows only Tamil, Hindi, and Bengali, while you only know Telugu. Just the same if you knew only Swahilee and your interviewer, only Japanese.

No good for getting a job, is it?

But if you did some wire pulling and got a job in spite of such communication breakdowns at interviews, because you knew the prime minister’s secretary’s mother, then I suppose you would not fall into the category of the jobless, starving masses. If you were lucky, you could even land up with job as a doctor where always the doctor has the upper hand in killing the patient and not vice versa. (Legally you can blame it on the Latin in medical textbooks.)

Well, the History of Lingo is a bloody one!

When the first colonization took place, the British had dinosaurs for neighbors. Like all good neighbors, they were suspicious of each other and the fact that they did not speak each other’s language made things worse. The rumor that the dinosaurs ate humans for lunch was rampant.

So they hired a British multi – linguist spy to check out on the dinosaurs. The spy was told to give a precise report which stated whether the dinosaurs were vegetarians or non- vegetarians.

The spy lived in the dinosaur colony, for a while, observing them and was impressed with their kindness and consideration towards him and their peaceful compatibility with each other.

When the spy returned, he was asked for written report.
Precise – so a military decision could be taken.
Tick the appropriate – Vegetarian or non -vegetarian.

The spy simply wrote – truly Humanitarian.
The next day, the humans exterminated the dinosaurs.

India had British imposed English language while they (the British) ruled, and when we became independent (true Desi colonial rule), we became multilingual. But we have had to develop our own indigenous interface with languages so we can understand each other.

New developments took place.

Like Honking on the roads while driving anywhere, all the time.
The need for translation is not required.

Different states have adapted in their own unique ways to handling multilingualism.

Let me tell you about Delhi as an example. I live here. Perhaps the most unfair accusation the Delhi’ites are subject to is their reputation of being rude. This is simply not true. It implies that the Delhi’ites talk in a language which others can understand.

Soul language is the mother tongue of the Delhi’ite. It can be interpreted, but never interrupted. This is a language where words do not matter, but the emotion counts. It has its own uniqueness … and starts with Maa Ki… Behen Ki… or involves sign language involving thumbs with fingers along with vocals…there is also rich literature involving body parts.

Being the capital it has adapted to encompassing multilingualism on a global scale. You cannot feel lost here, you will always feel at home – like the generation gap with your parents, you do not understand it, but you feel it, it also has an association with home.

India is fast becoming the most favorite tourist destination for Indians. Go to a small, remote town in the interiors of this Asian sub -continent and you will be surprised- not only will you not know where you are, the locals will not be able to tell you too. The road signs will be in strange squiggles which will not match the GPS on your mobile and the sign language will fail to produce food, water, and directions.

No wonder the tourism industry is globally promoting India as the number one destination for adventure tours.

India is probably the only country that has shown great breakthroughs in solving the multilingual crisis. The solution is to go atomic.

Let me explain. The science of communication as we Indians have discovered, can be condensed into an atom – Hello. How you say it be it hello, Helooo or heliwo will convey the sentence, the mood and the meaning.

I learned the art from my Mother in- Law.

Relationships can be condensed into a single hello. She gives give me a cue – and I wish a hello, to my numerous in-laws, in the correct precise way (the pitch and tone precisely matched to the relationship). I do not remember ever having the necessity of adding any syllable to the hello. Or even going a word beyond it.

No linguistic or relationship complications, here.

And I am proud of my linguistic competence of being able to talk to anyone on any subject, in a single monosyllable.

Hello?

No understand? Then you must be – Chinese? Briteesh? Bhusavalese ? Udipese ? Sirsaese? Tejpurese ? Malerkotlese ?

ISSUE 200 Jobnet magazine
Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the Author and publishers of Jobnet magazine

Every Jobhunting Abhimanyu's Chakravyuh

Does every Jobseeking Abhimanyu have a Chakraview?

Winning a war is not just about staying alive; it is about killing the competition.

There are fortunately two renowned schools of war management offering their expertise in the secret of this job market Chakraviewha.

Gurus from the A Business schools say that success lies in the review of the Chakravyuh. The view from the generals’ tent gives many options for better MIS (management info systems)

Those from the B Business schools say that success lies in the retreat from the Chakraviewha. Well, if you do not know how to get out, if may be wiser to focus on your retreat rather than on your funeral.

Both are absolutely right.

The Indian Job-seeker is worried. If what the pundits say about the secret of successful job hunting is true, then why exactly is no one explaining what this Chakraview is ?

Perhaps the Jobseeker is only bewildered because in this job hunting Mahayudh there are more generals than foot soldiers? Other-wise who would design this crappy formula for job hunting that requires a rocket scientist for a translator?

When did this job hunting business get to be a business?

I do not know? But I suppose ever since the resume ceased to be a resume.

Ever since we began to feel incompetent in describing what we do and what we are good at- just because we could not fit it into popular keywords.

Perhaps Indian Jobseekers need to shift their focus from the battle field technologies on- How do we get in? The right education? The right resume keywords? Mass mailing resumes? Mass contact of placement consultants ? Job alerts from famous websites? Resume blasting, resume bombing, resume land mining and resume cannoning?

How to get in is not as important as “How to get found?’ Yes the pundits forget to mention that getting found is the most important factor in the job hunt.

Do we need an expert to tell us how to get found? The age old battle cry of the jobseekers has always been- I am here, come and get me if you can! Only the platforms have changed.

Job hunting still remains the same old game of winning – over everyone else.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

Let’s Microwave Darwin

The boss called one of his employees into the office. “Anil,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?”
“Thanks,” said the employee.
“Thanks?” the boss replied. “Is that all you can say?”
“I suppose not,” the employee said. “Thanks, Dad.”

It does not matter anymore that we took a couple of million years to develop into what we see in the mirror today but we seem to be in no mood to continue the process at the same speed.

The experts tell us that it takes fixed time frames to complete infancy, adolescence, adult hood and whatever else that comes in between maturity and geriatrics, but somehow the calculations are not quite adding up.

The developmental journey of humans was a long drawn process but today because of environmental pressures causing intense competition, we are being forced to mature much faster.

Focus is the essence. Armed with technology and information we no longer need to become Columbus to discover the new world. It has become unnecessary to emphasize the development of skills of discovery, innovation or creativity as much as the skills of application with precision.

Everyone seems to be growing up faster and are capable of doing things that they are too young to do. And I am not only talking about sex. But even if I do take sex as an example, the modern fledgling has scored over us again thanks to television, which did more for them than the Kamasutra did to ten generations of our ancestors.

When I see the quiz contests of school children I am quite convinced that they have more evolved neuronic connections in the brain which enables them to learn about the exact number of chairs in every room of the United Nations and the names of six hundred kinds of sharks with equal élan.

The ancient Hindu scriptures talked about 4 distinct life stages — student, householder, retiree and sanyasi –
The whole process of personal and social evolution that took a life-time.

We have recently realized that, ever since the word play got replaced with learn, our babies are born grown up — Generations later, like the magic beans that grow into the clouds in a single night, our future test tube babies will thrive.

So what has happened to the time cycles of learning and growing? Have homo -sapiens finally managed to find a new shortcut to the evolutionary process? Yes, I think so. Much like what science fiction talks about worm holes that allow you to journey across different parts of the universe in moments.

A long time ago when Alvin Toffler talked about Future Shock, we realized that survival is about change management. But it is only when we have been transported into this reality do we realize that change cannot be managed. And in spite of the technology at our finger tips it also cannot be controlled.

For a short while we had become dinosauric in our existence, focused on the maintenance and preservation of our form, unable to grow beyond our own self-preservation. Today we have simply given up. Somewhat like the old saying that says when rape is inevitable you might as well lie back and enjoy it.

Andrew Carnegie, who was once considered to be the steel king of USA, stated that “It is a matter of course for individuals to work hard in society. But whether one becomes successful in life or not depends on how he uses his time from 6 to 8 pm; after work.” What is six to eight after work? Half the world cannot figure out the concept of after work and the other half cannot figure out the connotations of what comes before work.

There is no point in asking questions that no one has answers for but I can’t help it if I get an immense sense of happiness from knowing that you are as lost as I am.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal

Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

How scientific do Jobseekers have to get ?

Earning a livelihood today is not about knowing, guessing the answers or figuring it all out.

The parameters are changing and we are in a brave new world with an awareness that we are not being brave at all.

The Indian Job seeker faces many dilemmas today.

Am I intelligent enough to know what to do?Do I have to swallow poison to prove that I am scientific and practical?In all this crap I am lost and how best not to show it to others?

The list is long…

Perhaps the Indian Job seeker needs to focus less on what to do or not do.

Maybe the solutions lie in understanding that the uncharted seas are not the problem, but the inability to navigate uncharted seas is what the problem is in these alien waters.

But no one else, even the experts know how to.

Hey, we do not have to be good to get, we do not have to be perfect not to lose what we can manage to get!

Livelihoods and jobs are about what we can give, if only we can find someone who we can give it to.

Easier said than done, Job hunting is not about knowing the technology of finding jobs. It is also about figuring out what needs to be figured out and what does not.

But in this entire exercise one needs to realize that the handicap of not knowing how to get jobs is not personal but about hitting the right combination…

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author